Round 4

I just finished the fifth day of round four of letrozole. I’ve also been taking the full dosage of the herbal supplement that my acupuncturist has given me. The combination of the two is making me feel pretty lousy. I’m just generally sore, like joint sore through my shoulders hips and knees. Also I am noticing some attention deficits – like i’m not as able to attend to what is going on around me as I usually can. I have to work harder when i’m doing basic things like driving.

I have considered whether it’s all in my head – as in its some sort of symptoms of depression. But I don’t think it is. Although i’ve had some shitty days, for the most part my mood has levelled out and I don’t think that is playing a factor in the overall physical soreness.

I m feeling crazy burnt out. I feel like the fertility stuff – the need to time medications, and sex, and the fact that it is sitting and dominating every action I take – is taking up 75% of my energy, and I somehow need to find room for school, work, exercise, my Husband, an social life, in the other 25% of whatever energy a limited sleep schedule allows. Work in particular is stressful – I’m still building practice at the second clinic. It is growing, just a lot slower than I would have wished. I think in the long run it will work out, but it will take another several months to get it close to where I need it to be. In the meantime I just have to be very careful about our household budget, because I took a financial hit when I quit my full time but shitty job last year to try to build something better. The first clinic is about as busy as I want it to be, i’m there 15-25 hours a week, which leaves me with the time I need to build the second one.

It will be fine, the soreness will pass, it will get better, I will have time…

My mantra gets longer and more detailed…

-Me

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