One more Failure

IUI round 1 didn’t work. On the plus side, knowing that we had two viable eggs, the sperm in the right place, and the timing perfect meant I realize, finally, that this is not my fault. For five years each month our failure to conceive has felt like all my fault – like my body failed, and couldn’t make it happen. This month we gave it everything we had, and every opportunity we could, and still nothing happened.

According to all the fun google has to offer(including google scholar), 3xIUI is the max, then you need to move on, so we still have two more. But we need a month off. We need to have a month where sex is for fun, and my joints don’t ache due to a fertility drug that started as a cancer chemo treatment.

This month will be devoted to self support: exercise, diet, school, and not timing every physical interaction.

On the other hand: Life is not fair. Fertility isn’t fair. Being angry about it is a useless waste of time

Doesn’t stop me from being angry.

-Me.

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